Is it time to be religious again? Despite having less faith than ever. Simply because I am direly short of social interaction. I ought to have at least an imaginary friend and, if a 36 year old man is going to have an imaginary friend, well, it had better be God.
Not for God (who has gobs of friends, many of whom are the scariest people you'll ever meet) but simply to keep the habit of humanness alive beside the specter of malevolent loneliness. Also because I cannot plant a tree. Not here in Tokyo -- a pot of geraniums is about all we have space for. Of course I try to be friends with my geraniums. But geraniums are not enough. Even the lettuces are not enough, not even when they go as far as flowering.
Underneath, of course, is the hope that reality will again spin, and what seemed foolish will turn out to be wise. Then I get to be right. And then reality spins again.