I’m not going to attempt dating again until I meet someone who understands that -- disappointment is just the way that it works. I’m disappointing, I’m reliably disappointing, just same as everything else in the universe. It doesn’t have anything to do with me personally.
Hypothetical darling, we could still go about loving each other, if we put our minds to it. But, no, everyone wants someone just like the guy in the video they’ve got in their phone, except their guy isn’t an escort, he has a good job, lots of money, excellent credit, a home here, an apartment in Europe. He’s interesting but not nerdy, loves to travel, stylish but not fussy, spiritual but not religious, thick and uncut, loves to party but doesn’t overdo it, is due to inherit.
I am so tired of that guy. We are both of us imaginary, but in somewhat different ways. Therefore, although I have consistently done absolutely anything to get laid for the last -- a moment please, I’m calculating -- 27 ½ years, tonight I’ll stay home and not attempt to resemble the guy on anyone’s phone. I say, let someone else disappoint them.