Thursday, October 03, 2013

In Praise of Distraction



No question but that it saves lives every day.


I decided to kill myself.  Unfortunately the gas had been turned off.  It took me nearly an hour to find the bill.  Here in Tokyo, we pay our bills at the convenience store.  While I was there, I discovered that there is now a grape chu-hi with eight percent alcohol.  Grape Zero Strong!  This was highly encouraging, but it was not enough to save my life.  Just then the football team came in for Cokes, in sweat and grins and sleeveless shirts.  You must keep in mind that you yourself cannot know the extent of your good works.  It may be that one day in high school your armpit saved someone’s life.




1 comment:

Metta said...

Japan gets all the cool sodas. :(

At some point in the US, patent medications upgraded into soda fountains. Coca soda and lithiated lemon too--I think opiates missed the bus. A quick scrape of the terrible OCR from Google news archive would have inspired Brion.

A SODA . do not answer advertisements and send away for "painless cures," but there is a spruce ... Then there are the various medicines containing opiates.

Soda Seltzer Works . pleased to announce that Foley's Honey and Tar for colds ... law as it contains no opiates or other harmful drugs, and we recommend as a ...

It is a palatable emulsion, free from opiates or other harmful drugs, and has the virtue of ... Todco h7 Rub-141 possible Todco Soda-Mint and Rhubarb-Re the ...

... spreads soothing healing film over the sore inflamed membranes No Opiates in ... Magnesia Better than Soda Hereafter instead of soda take little Phillips Milk ...